I haven’t been overly active on here, or Twitter..or Instagram, or anywhere for that matter. Life has been getting in the way the past couple of days. Some good, some bad. My question is, how do we deal with the bad in a healthy, proactive way? Here’s some of my tips:
Don’t neglect your emotions:
We are all human. We all feel things, good and bad. The bad isn’t something to be scared of, it is something you should always accept and say to yourself “okay, how do I get through this one?” Even if it is the worst pain you have felt in your life, whether it be heartbreak, loss, or
our good old friends depression and anxiety, you need to learn to tell yourself yes, this is how I feel and challenge yourself to change. I have been there, everybody has. You are not alone in wanting to numb your mind or wanting to forget about how you feel. The only way anybody can work through a difficult time in their life is to face it head on. Accept yourself, and your baggage. Feel your emotions. Work through them.
Balancing the relationships in your life is so key. I think it is one of the most important parts of self care and healing. Not only balancing your social life, romantic life, work life and family life, but putting time and effort into yourself. Taking a bath, going for a walk, or even binging on your favourite TV show, these are all things that are essential to having a happy and healthy lifestyle because you love doing them and you are relaxing. Letting your mind breathe, away from other people is important. It is not selfish to want alone time, it is natural. Important. Necessary. Personally, I take alone time very seriously and cherish the moments I have to myself to just relax and almost lose yourself in your mind. It is probably one of my favourite times of the day. Even if it is just five minutes from all the different things that may be going on, take them and use them.
Put your phone down:
Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook. They’re all things that can influence the way we think. It is typical of our generation to be almost addicted to our phones, tablets, computers and most of all, social media. Even myself, I know that I thoroughly enjoy scrolling through Facebook, (
secretly lurking on people that you haven’t seen in ten years) checking Snapchat routinely and retweeting those tweets about how much you hate toxic friendships. But do we ever escape this? Do we ever just put our phones down and actually have a decent conversation with someone without showing them that hilarious photo (that lowkey wants to make you vomit) of Donald Trump’s patchy spray tan? Yes, it may be funny, and no, you may not think it’s making your mind a different place but it is. Take yourself away from that for awhile, let yourself go. Stop staring at the screen and give your eyes a rest, even for a half hour. It is worth it.
Don’t struggle alone. A problem shared is a problem halved and that should be gospel. Whether it be sharing with family, a close friend, teacher, colleague, whoever. Just open up. Do not be afraid of what people might think, you don’t know what other people have been through. It can be daunting to share some of your problems but you will feel so much better afterwards. I am not saying everything will be fixed if you tell Susan from Finance about the panic attack you had, I’m just saying you are on the right track and you now have someone to discuss this with. If you have nobody to speak to, you have me. I am always here. There are so many resources available if you don’t feel comfortable with those options, just look into it and never be ashamed.
Don’t be afraid to say no:
Don’t be afraid to say no in fear of letting someone down. You are allowed to say you don’t want to go for dinner, or hang out, or go to the movies. That is okay. It isn’t something to be ashamed of, in fear that you must do this task. Don’t take on that extra project if you don’t want to, don’t go to that bar you hate with people you don’t want to be around. Don’t do it because you are your own boss. Don’t let other people get in the way of your emotions. If going shopping to look for an outfit for your friend, for an event you’re not even going to, sounds like the worst plan you’ve ever heard of then who says you cannot say “no, not today, maybe another time?”. Nobody is taking that freedom away from you except yourself. Remember that you are your own controller. Nobody else.
I have so many more little tips and tricks up my sleeve to make myself feel better and make my mind a healthier, happier place. Sometimes these don’t work and everything is a lost cause, but those days are rare and we always survive them.
Nobody should ever, ever feel alone in their struggles. It’s okay to admit you’re not feeling the greatest, there is no shame in honesty.
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